“Frank the Monster Who Wasn’t Scary”
Music and Lyrics by Ellen Winter


Frank:
My name is Frank the Monster. Thank you everybody for coming out tonight to the annual haunted house party.

Wyatt: [in the crowd]
We love you Frank! [howls]


Frank:
Love you too, Wyatt. I just want to take a second to acknowledge that one year ago, I never would have dreamed of being on this stage. And here I am, playing with the Mad Zombies.

All: [howl]
WOOOO!!

Frank:
Alright - we’re the mad zombies and this is the story of how I joined the band!
Hit it Dracula!

I LOVE A GOOD HOUSE PARTY
I REALLY LOVE A GOOD HAUNTED HOUSE PARTY
AND AT THIS ONE PARTICULAR HAUNTED HOUSE PARTY
A MIRACULOUS THING DID OCCUR

DRACULA WAS THE DJ
AND THIS SUPER COOL BAND
WAS ABOUT TO PLAY

EVERYBODY RUSHED TO THE STAGE
BUT I STAYED PUT IN MY PLACE

CUZ WHEN I DANCE I FALL APART
I’M USUALLY WITH MY BUDDIES
AT THE SNACK BAR


The Voice:
TONIGHT COULD BE A BRAND NEW START

Frank:
SAID A VOICE FROM WITHIN
WHERE MY HEART USED TO BE
IT SAID..

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN
SING
SING

I HAD AN EPIPHANY
SING
SING

AND NOW I WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO SING

BUT BEFORE I COULD THINK
BEFORE I COULD TALK
I NOTICED THAT SOMEONE FAMILIAR
WAS WALKING MY WAY
COMING FROM THE STAGE

IT WAS A MEMBER OF THE BAND
THAT WAS ABOUT TO PLAY
HE SAID

Bandmate:
OUR LEAD SINGER IS ABSENT, CAN YOU TAKE HIS PLACE?

Frank:
I SAID, “OKAY”,
BUT WHEN I DANCE I FALL APART
I’M USUALLY WITH MY BUDDIES AT THE SNACK BAR

Bandmate:
TONIGHT CAN BE A BRAND NEW START
WE HAVE THIS SAYING WHEN YOU JOIN THE MAD ZOMBIES IT GOES

Frank+Bandmate:
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN
SING
SING

Frank:
I WANTED MORE THAN ANYTHING TO
SING
SING

AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I DID

Crowd:
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN
Frank:
NOW I LOVE MORE THAN ANYTHING TO….
SING SING

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE THEN YOU CAN

Oh I love more than anything to…
SING
SING

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE
IF YOU CAN’T DANCE

IF YOU CAN’T DANCE, SING!


Frank:
Thanks everybody! We’re the Mad Zombies! Goodnight!