“All Eight Unicorns”
Music and Lyrics by Rachel Wenitsky

ALL
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS (CLAP CLAP)

UNICORN 1:
I’M A UNICORN JUST GALLOPING
SINGING MY SONG THAT I LOVE TO SING IT GOES:

ALL
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS (CLAP CLAP)

UNICORN 1:
I’M ALONE IN THE FOREST BUT THAT’S OK
CUZ I KNOW I’M GONNA HAVE AN AMAZING DAY

I’M FEELIN’ GOOD, BECAUSE I’M FEELIN’ GREAT
I’M A UNICORN AND THERE ARE ONLY EIGHT

I’M DREAMING OF GLITTER AND RAINBOW SWIRLS
O-M-G
THERE ARE MY GIRLS!

Beat cuts out.

GIRLS
Spoken. Heyyyyyy.

UNICORN
Heyyyyy.

FRIEND:
Oh my gosh It’s been a MINUTE.

UNICORN 1:
Yah! It’s so good to see you!

FRIEND:
You look incred by the way.

UNICORN 1:
Thank you!

FRIEND:
Did you change your mane?


UNICORN 1:
I did color my mane...thank you for noticing!

GIRL 2
Highlights?

UNICORN
Balayage.

FRIEND
It looks so natural.

UNICORN 1
Yes I got “mane-extenstions”

FRIEND:
I mean the blue really pops with your eyes

UNICORN 1:
Thank you Do you like the beads?

FRIEND
Yes I do! I was just gonna say that!

FRIEND
They’re “a-MANE-zing”

UNICORN 1
What?

FRIEND
...cause “Mane”...cause it’s your “mane”

UNICORN 1:
AH! That’s really good.

Beat back in.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME OVER AND PLAY WITH ME?

FRIENDS
YES

UNICORN
Yas!

GIRLS
YASS!

ALL
YAYYYYYY!

ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS

WE’RE UNICORNS AND WE’RE GALLOPING
AND WE’RE SINGING OUR SONG THAT WE LOVE TO SING
IT GOES:
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS

UNICORN 1
Yeah we’re unicorns, say it with me girls:

FRIENDS
There are only eight of us in the whole wide world!

They count off:

1-2-3-4-5-6-7-

Huuuhhhh?

FRIEND:
O-m-g everyone stop!

FRIEND:
There’s a unicorn there but she’s tangled up!

UNICORN
Do you need help?

TANGLED UNICORN:
Yes!

UNICORN
We’re gonna get you out of this mess.

Beat out.

Everything is super awkward and difficult.

FRIEND:
Oh wow she’s like super tangled.

FRIEND:
Whoa I know? How did this happen?

TANGLED UNICORN
I know it’s really bad. I don’t even wanna say it’s too embarrassing.

FRIEND
Yeah like move to the right, not the left.

TANGLED UNICORN
Agh I’m so awkward, I have four left hooves.

UNICORN 1
Ah hey guys?! Guess what’s just up on instagram? Did you hashtag “All Eight Unicorns”? We’re gonna laugh about this tomorrow. Okay on 3...let’s just pull!

1-2-3.

FRIENDS
Pull! Pull! Pull!

TANGLED UNICORN
I’M FREE! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SAVING ME!

I WAS TANGLED UP BUT IT’S ALRIGHT
NOW WE CAN GALLOP INTO THE SUNLIGHT

UNICORN 1
LET’S DANCE AROUND WITHOUT A CARE
WE’RE SUPER COOL CUZ WE’RE SUPER RARE WE’RE:

ALL
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS
ALL 8 UNICORNS, ALL 8 UNICORNS

UNICORN 1
THE END!