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Backstroke Raptor

by The Story Pirates

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1.
FRED: Backstroke Raptor! GIRLS: Backstroke Raptor, Backstroke Velociraptor <repeat> MONICA: Who’s that raptor swimming in the ocean? KAREN: Swinging his arms in a reverse motion! MONICA: Moving through the water KAREN: Lying on his back BOTH: The coolest raptor in the raptor pack! FRED: Backstroke Raptor! GIRLS: Backstroke Raptor, Backstroke Velociraptor <repeat> FRED: Hey there velociraptors what’re you do-in? Do ya want to get off this island? GIRLS: Yeah! FRED: Well come over here and check out this boat! I hope you know how to use one! GIRLS: Testing out the boat, we’re testing out the boat. Testing out the boat, we’re testing out the boat. Hmmmmm….. MONICA: This. boat. has got no engine. It isn’t making a sound! KAREN: This boat, it won’t go anywhere. It’s just spinning around and around and around and around and a--! GIRLS: Wooooooo! FRED: Backstroke Raptor! GIRLS: Backstroke Raptor, Backstroke Velociraptor GIRLS: Let’s put an engine in the boat, boat, boat FRED: Engines are useful to make boats go! GIRLS: Now we need some wires, and more wires. FRED: Connect the wires to the en-gine! GIRLS: Don’t forget the batteries! Batteree -e -e -ees FRED: Connect them to the other end of the wires! GIRLS: Gotta have a motor, Get me a motor! FRED: Technically different from the engine. GIRLS: Finally a p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- FRED: Whaat? GIRLS: a p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- p- FRED: I said a-whaat?? GIRLS: a p- p- p- p- p- p- p- propeller! FRED: Propellers will help the boat go forward! <raptor sound> FRED: Backstroke Raptor! GIRLS: Backstroke Raptor, Backstroke Velociraptor <repeat> FRED: Hey there velociraptors, how is it going? Have you all got this boat working yet? GIRLS: Yeah! FRED: Then I’ll do the backstroke and show you the way! We’re a pack so we stick together! GIRLS: Whoo! Solo/DX (ad lib) FRED: Here we go! <SFX splash> <SFX boat horn> KAREN: We’re sailing right alongside you! MONICA: This boat is fabulous! KAREN: Hey Backstroke Raptor, where are you leading us anyway? FRED: To a new raptor habitat, it’s called The Doon! GIRLS: cooooool! FRED: We should be there in just a couple of days! KAREN: Um, that sure is a lot of backstroking; do you want to ride in our boat with us? FRED: Okay, but first…<.SFX splashing> MONICA: Who’s that raptor swimming in the ocean? KAREN: Swinging his arms in a reverse motion! MONICA: He can do the backstroke KAREN: We can fix a boat BOTH: The coolest raptors anybody knows! FRED: Backstroke Raptor! GIRLS: Backstroke Raptor, Backstroke Velociraptor <8x> FRED (over outro) It’s not the side stroke It’s not the breast stroke It’s not the butterfly! It’s the Backstroke Raptor! Roar!
2.
Samantha 02:26
NARRATOR IT WAS DINNER TIME FOR THE FAMILY OF MONSTERS SAMANTHA HAD SOMETHING ON HER MIND AFTER A THREE COURSE MEAL SHE FINALLY FOUND THE COURAGE TO TELL HER MONSTER PARENTS WHAT SHE FELT INSIDE SHE SAID (As SAMANTHA) MOM AND DAD I WANT TO BE A HUMAN MOM AND DAD I WANT TO BE A HUMAN BEING MOM AND DAD I REALLY REALLY WANNA BE A…. MOM AND DAD NO WAY! NARRATOR HER PARENTS SHOUTED VERY LOUDLY BUT THIS HADN’T CHANGED SAMANTHA’S MIND SHE THOUGHT (AS SAMANTHA) I’LL RUN AWAY WHILE EVERYONE IS SLEEPING TO THE MONSTER OF MONSTERS AT MIDNIGHT. NARRATOR IT TOOK TWO WHOLE DAYS FOR SAMANTHA THE MONSTER TO CLIMB THE TALLEST MOUNTAIN THAT SHE’D EVER KNOWN SHE HUFFED AND SHE PUFFED BUT FINALLY SHE MADE IT TO THE MONSTER OF MONSTER’S MONSTROUS MOUNTAIN HOME A DEEP VOICE WITHIN CALLED OUT MONSTER OF MONSTERS HELLO NARRATOR SAMANTHA WALKED IN AND SAW THE MONSTER OF MONSTERS SITTING ALL ALONE SHE SAID (AS SAMANTHA) HELLO, SIR. I’D LIKE TO BE A HUMAN HELLO, SIR. I WANT TO BE A HUMAN BEING ..SIR? I REALLY REALLY WANNA BE A… MONSTER OF MONSTERS OKAY! NARRATOR SAID THE MONSTER OF MONSTERS MONSTER OF MONSTERS ONLY IF YOU PROMISE NOT TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT ME OR ABOUT THIS CONVERSATION NARRATOR SHE SAID (AS SAMANTHA) YES, SIR. CONSIDER IT DONE. NARRATOR SHE SAID (AS SAMANTHA) YES, SIR. CONSIDER IT DONE. NARRATOR HER NAME WAS SAMANTHA. HER NAME WAS SAMANTHA HER NAME WAS SAMANTHA AND FINALLY SHE WAS HUMAN!
3.
Narrator: Once upon a time in a faraway land There lived a wizard who was doing the best that he can. Erlin: I spend my days learning magic at the wizard school Narrator: But it was tragic cuz this wizard was so uncool Erlin: Hey- Narrator: Like I was saying, this dude was quite lame. While other wizards at his school had some cool, tight names Morazen: Like Morazen the Great Infernion: Or Infernion the Fiery Erlin: My name is Erlin Narrator: Yeah that really don’t inspire me. And his wand, which of course, is the source of one’s sorcery Couldn’t cast correctly so an outcast he was forced to be Erlin: All my peers’ wands are powerful, mine is aloof Narrator: No matter which spells he would cast, it only went... POOF (repeated x7) It only went poof. Kids in class cackled, they thought Erlin a goof. Erlin: And I feel mad sad cuz my wand only goes... POOF (repeated x7) It only goes poof. Narrator: But then one day a Dragon came around. He said Dragon: Bring me gold and food or your whole town is going down. Bring on the wizards the knights and the rest. I am the best and you’ll never guess my one weakness. Narrator: They lined up to stop him; it was wizard after wizard, Morazen: I’m Morazen the Great and I’ll summon a blizzard. Infernion: I’m Infernion the Fiery I’ll set you aflame. Erlin: And I’m Erlin- Infernion: don’t worry bout him he’s super lame. Narrator: They all tried but failed and flailed, forced to fold. The dragon he grew bold and started taking their gold. Dragon: I am unstoppable, ha ha ha ha ha, bulletproof! Narrator: Even when Erlin got his wand and made it go... POOF (repeated x7) He made it go poof. Erlin: Even the dragon laughed? Dragon: A hilarious spoof! Ooof! He’ll never be a wizard if his wand can only go... POOF (repeated x7) Erlin: It only goes poof Narrator: But then what happened next was a curious thing. The dragon’s face changed to a frown from a grin. Dragon: There’s a stress in my chest like I messed up a test plus I’m depressed. Erlin: The poof is his one weakness! Narrator:He roared and roared, then he soared, flew away forever. When’d you see him again, Erlin? Erlin: How about never. Narrator: This started growing his fame, people knowing his name. They put an M at the top, and he would never be the same. Erlin: You see, the M that they added, well, it stands for magic. And now I’m called Merlin Narrator: And that name is fantastic! Give it up for the great one, y’all, raise the roof. Merlin the Wizard who could now do way more than go... POOF (repeated x7) Do way more than poof. Now his skills as a mage are beyond reproof Erlin: But I was once the wizard who could just go... POOF (repeated x6) I once only could just go poof.
4.
NARRATOR: IN HER BIOLOGY CLASSROOM GRACE WAS BORED OUT OF HER MIND SHE STARTED TO YAWN AS THE TEACHER BLABBED ON ‘BOUT THE HOMEWORK SHE WAS ABOUT TO ASSIGN TEACHER: Grace! GRACE: Huh? What? TEACHER: ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? GRACE: Yes ma’am, well--sort of. NARRATOR: SHE LIED GRACE: I’M NOT SURE THAT I HEARD YOUR LAST COUPLE OF WORDS DEEP VOICE: AND THAT’S WHEN THE TEACHER REPLIED: TEACHER: Grace, your homework tonight is to answer the following question: CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? NARRATOR: WHAT’S A WALLABY? (3X) ALL: WHAT IS A WALLABY? NARRATOR: SHE NODDED AND SMILED AT HER TEACHER BUT WORRY STARTED TO GROW AND THAT WAS BECAUSE WHAT A WALLABY WAS WAS SOMETHING THAT GRACE DID NOT KNOW FINALLY GRACE HEARD THE BELL RING AND EVERYONE STARTED TO LEAVE SHE KNEW THAT SHE MUST ASK HER FRIENDS ON THE BUS WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT WALLABIES GRACE: Bus friends! Help me! I have a report due tomorrow and I’ve got to know: CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? NARRATOR: WHAT’S A WALLABY? (3X) ALL: WHAT IS A WALLABY? GRACE’S MOM: Welcome home Grace! Would you like a sandwich? I made BLTs! GRACE: I can’t eat now, Mom. I’ve got too much on my mind. Ugggggh! GRACE’S MOM: Okay, slow down. GRACE COME ON, THIS IS SILLY THERE’S NO REASON FOR YOU TO FRET FOR A VIRTUAL TUTOR JUST USE THE COMPUTER TO ASK THE INTERNET GRACE: Mom, what a great idea! I’ll just use the computer! CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? NARRATOR: WHAT’S A WALLABY? COMPUTER: Wallabies live in Australia and New Zealand. CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? NARRATOR: WHAT’S A WALLABY? COMPUTER: A group of wallabies is called a mob. CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? NARRATOR: WHAT’S A WALLABY? COMPUTER: The scientific name for wallabies is Macropods which means “big feet.” GRACE: Cooool! ALL: WHAT IS A WALLABY? NARRATOR: SHE TURNED IN HER WORK THE NEXT MORNING AS IF NOTHING HAD EVER BEEN WRONG AT THE END OF THE DAY SHE FOUND OUT THAT SHE GOT AN “A” AND SHE SANG THIS WALLABY SONG: GRACE: Wow! These creatures are amazing! CHORUS: WHAT’S-A-WHAT’S-A-WHA? WHAT’S A WALLABY? (3X) ALL: WHAT IS A WALLABY? OH WALLABIES ARE THE COOLEST BY FAR AND IF YOU AGREE COME AND SING IT WITH ME! (2X)
5.
Cement Dude 04:28
Narrator: Way out West, there was this... fella I wanna tell you about. He had a real name like you n’ me, a name that his lovin’ parents gave him, but… he never had much use for it himself. See this fella, well he was made of cement. And he called himself… Cement Dude. THERE ONCE WAS A MAN A GREAT GREAT MAN NAMED CEMENT DUDE Backups: CEMENT DUDE Narrator: HE WAS MADE OF CEMENT JUST IN CASE THAT WASN’T CLEAR FROM HIS NAME, DUDE Backups: FROM HIS NAME DUDE Narrator: AND THE ONE THING YOU CAN BET IS CEMENT DUDE’S CEMENT WAS Backups: WET WET WET Narrator: SO HE PACKED +Backups: FOUR OVENS, FIVE IRONS, SIX CAMPFIRES Narrator: AND GOT READY TO GO +Backups: TO THE DRY, DRY, DRY, DRY, DESERT WHERE THE CACTUS PLANTS ARE BRITTLE AND THE TUMBLEWEEDS BLOW TO THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT Cement Dude: THAT’S WHERE I’M GONNA GO Narrator+Backups: THAT’S CEMENT DUDE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDE Narrator: NO SWEAT HE’S BEGINNING TO HIT HIS STRIDE Backups: AS THE AIR GETS DRIER HE’S FILLED WITH PRIDE Cement Dude: I AM ON MY WAY TO GLORY Backups: TRUDGE, TRUDGE, TRUDGE, TRUDGE, TRUDGE Cement Dude: EVERY STEP MY RESOLVE GETS SOLIDIFIED Backups: AS HIS HEART STARTS TO HARDEN SO DOES HIS HIDE AS HE GETS TO AS HE GETS TO Narrator+Backups: TO THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT WHERE THE BUZZARDS LIKE TO BUZZ AND THE SCORPIONS CRAWL TO THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT Cement Dude: I’M IN FOR THE LONG HAUL Narrator+Backups: STILL CEMENT DUDE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE Backups: EVERY STEP’S GETTING HARDER AND HARDER TO TAKE Narrator: AND HIS ARMS AND HIS THIGHS ARE STARTING TO ACHE Backups: HE IS STARTING TO STIFFEN UP Cement Dude: Ow! Backups: TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE EVERY STEP STARTS TO STING STARTS TO CRACK HIS SOUL Cement Dude: EVERY STEP IT GETS HARDER TO REACH MY GOAL BUT I’M NOT GONNA GIVE UP NOW Backups: TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE TRUDGE Cement Dude: What’s going on?! Help!! I can’t move! Silence. Narrator: THERE ONCE WAS A MAN A GREAT GREAT MAN NAMED CEMENT DUDE Backups: CEMENT DUDE Narrator: HE WAS MADE OF CEMENT JUST IN CASE THAT WASN’T CLEAR FROM HIS NAME, DUDE Backups: HIS NAME IS CEMENT DUDE, DUDE Narrator: AND THE ONE THING YOU CAN BET AND THE ONE THING CEMENT DUDE DIDN’T GET MAYBE YOU WOULD HAVE KNOWN WHERE’S THE ONE PLACE CEMENT DUDE SHOULD NEVER EVER GO? Backups: TO THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT WHERE THE SUN CAN BAKE A BRICK OUT OF SOFT WET CLAY TO THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT AND CEMENT DUDE BAKED ON THAT DRY DRY DAY Cement Dude: OH THE DRY DRY DRY DRY DESERT I LEARNED A VERY VALUABLE LESSON Narrator+Backups: IF YOU’RE MADE OF CEMENT IN THE DESERT YOU’LL BE DISCONTENT Cement Dude: BECAUSE BEING HARD AS ROCK IS REALLY QUITE DISTRESSIN’ Backups: THAT’S CEMENT DUDE HIS NAME IS CEMENT DUDE STILL SINGIN’ ‘BOUT CEMENT DUDE CEMENT DUDE HYAH!
6.
GIRL I AM A GIRL WITH SUPERPOWERS (SHE’S A GIRL) I WANT TO BE A SUPERHERO BUT THERE’S SOMETHING THAT I NEED TO ACHIEVE MY DREAM I JUST NEED SOMETHING (SOMETHING) SOMETHING TO DEFEAT Hi everyone! I’m a girl with superpowers! But I can’t be a superhero until I defeat something and save every single person in this town. Oh, say hi townspeople! TOWNSPEOPLE “Hi” GIRL OH WHAT’S THE POINT OF HAVING POWERS (WHAT’S THE POINT) IF I CAN’T BE A SUPERHERO I KNOW THAT EVERYTHING’S OK I JUST WANT TO SAVE THE DAY I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING (SOMETHING) SOMETHING TO- I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING (SOMETHING) SOMETHING TO- HOW I WISH THERE WAS SOMETHING (SOMETHING) SOMETHING TO DE- [Dragon comes] VILLAGER Ahhh everybody! Look! There’s something big and scary coming down from the sky! DRAGON RAH!! Was somebody looking for a challenge? GIRL Oh, actually yeah, I was! I’m a girl with superpowers and I need something to defeat to become a superhero, so, uh... I guess it’s time to defeat you! DRAGON HAHA! Oh really? Well….. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR LITTLE GIRL CAUSE I’M THE TOUGHEST CREATURE IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD SO RETURN TO THE HOLE YOU CAME FROM AND CRAWL BACK IN CAUSE PS I AM A DRAGON (PS HE’S A DRAGON) YEAH PS I’M A DRAGON (HE IS A DRAGON) AND PPS YOU WILL NEVER DEFEAT ME! CAUSE PS I’M A DRAGON (PS HE’S A DRAGON) YEAH I’M A BIG OL’ DRAGON (HE IS A BIG OL’ DRAGON) AND NO YOU WILL NEVER BEAT ME DRAGON Ok girl, try a taste of my Fire Breath! RARRR!! GIRL I’ve had oatmeal hotter than your “fire breath.” DRAGON Alright, how bout this...Claw Swipe! GIRL Backflip! DRAGON Whoa- nice dodge. Alright, what about, horn hook! GIRL Side Somersault! DRAGON Scale shot! GIRL Power jump! DRAGON Tail whip! GIRL Riverdance jump! I took Irish dancing lessons last year…. DRAGON Oh! Who was your teacher? GIRL Ahh..Kathy? DRAGON Oh I love Kathy! GIRL Yeah she’s my Mom! DRAGON Oh wow...cool! Alright...windy wings! GIRL Dodge! That’s all you got, Dragon? DRAGON Yeah well...why don’t you show me what you’ve got?! GIRL I’m glad you asked! HERE I GO IT’S TIME FOR ME TO SHOW THE WORLD WHAT I CAN BE I CAN BE A SUPERHERO! DRAGON: Bring it! GIRL: Alright, Dragon, you asked for it...get ready for my SUPERPOWERS!! AHHH!! DRAGON I HAVE BEEN DEFEATED I HAVE BEEN BEATEN BUT YOU WERE JUST A LITTLE GIRL (DRAGON Dies) VILLAGER Hey! Everybody! She defeated the dragon! ALL YAY! Well Done, etc…. GIRL Whoa! I did it! I beat the game...I mean the town...I mean the dragon! I beat the dragon! Yeah that. I AM A GIRL WITH SUPERPOWERS! (SHE IS A GIRL WITH SUPERPOWERS) AND NOW I AM A SUPERHERO! THERE WAS SOMETHING TO DEFEAT AND IT WAS SO SWEET I FOUGHT A DRAGON (SHE FOUGHT A DRAGON) AND MY DREAM CAME TRUE! (SHE FOUGHT A DRAGON, DRAGON) AND MY DREAM CAME TRUE (SHE FOUGHT A DRAGON, DRAGON) AND MY/HER DREAM CAME TRUE!
7.
SPINNING MAN (spins by) I love to spin! Woohoo! LONELY GUY (Sigh) That looks like fun. NARRATOR IN THE CITY THERE WAS A LONELY GUY AND HE DIDN’T KNOW HOW TO SPIN. LONELY GUY That’s right. NARRATOR: SO ONE DAY HE SAW SOMEBODY, AND HE ASKED THEM, SAID CAN YOU HELP ME SPIN? LONELY GUY Ah, excuse me, sir — SPINNING MAN Yes? LONELY GUY Can you— help me spin? NARRATOR+SPINNING MAN: AND THE GUY SAID, YES OF COURSE! BUT SPINNING IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT NO PROBLEM, OH MY GOSH. LONELY GUY: Wait, seriously? NARRATOR, SPINNING MAN & CHORUS YES OF COURSE! BUT SPINNING IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT NO PROBLEM, OH MY GOSH. LONELY GUY THANK YOU! THANK YOU! AFTER I LEARN HOW TO SPIN, THIS STORY WILL BE OVER. SPINNING GUY Okay, try spinning like this. LONELY GUY Okay, here we go— (horns) LONELY GUY (grunts) SPINNING GUY Put your back into it— (horns) LONELY GUY Okay— Like this? LONELY GUY Whoa!!!! NARRATOR & CHORUS SO HE LEARNED HOW TO SPIN. LONELY GUY I’m doing it you guys! NARRATOR & CHORUS SO HE LEARNED HOW TO SPIN. SPINNING GUY Oh you are so good at this! NARRATOR & CHORUS SO HE LEARNED HOW TO SPIN. SPINNING GUY You make me so proud! AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT? AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT? AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS AND GUESS WHAT? LONELY GUY: Allow me: “IN THE CITY THERE WAS A LONELY GUY AND HE DIDN’T KNOW TO SPIN. SO ONE DAY HE FOUND SOMEBODY, AND HE ASKED THEM, CAN YOU HELP ME SPIN?” ALL: AND THE GUY SAID, YES OF COURSE! BUT SPINNING IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT NO PROBLEM, OH MY GOSH. AND THE GUY SAID, YES OF COURSE! BUT SPINNING IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT NO PROBLEM, OH MY GOSH. NARRATOR YES OF COURSE! ALL YES OF COURSE! NARRATOR YES OF COURSE! ALL YES OF COURSE! YES OF COURSE! BUT SPINNING IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT NO PROBLEM, OH MY GOSH. AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT? AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT? AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS WHAT AND GUESS AND GUESS WHAT? THE END!
8.
SFX: Alarm clock MISS SALLY: Yawning. 7am! Time to start my day. SFX: knock knock knock BUNNIES: Good morning Miss Sally! MISS SALLY: Hello Bunnies! BUNNY 1: Are you ready for work Miss Sally? MISS SALLY: Am I ready for work! Ahahaha! OH YES, OH YES I’M READY FOR WORK I WILL EAT MY BREAKFAST IT’S A PEAR, IF YOU CARE NOW I’LL FINISH MY LOOK PUT A CLIP IN MY HAIR AND THAT’S THE START OF A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY BUNNY 1: Which clip would you like for today Miss Sally? MISS SALLY: The pink. BUNNY 1: Ok- MISS SALLY: No the blue. BUNNY 2: You got it. MISS SALLY: No the pink. BUNNY 1: Here it is. MISS SALLY: It’s gotta be the red. BUNNY 2: The red. MISS SALLY: Except not the red, the green. BUNNY 1: Here’s the green. MISS SALLY: Better make it the pink, though. BUNNIES: The pink! MISS SALLY: The yellow. BUNNY 2: Yellow, of course. MISS SALLY: Of course. The pink. BUNNIES: The pink? MISS SALLY: The green. BUNNIES: THE GREEN??!!?! MISS BUNNY: Yes. The pink. BUNNIES: THE PINK?!?! MISS BUNNY: Exactly! The pink. BUNNIES: Yes!/Ok yes we did it!/Etc. MISS BUNNY: Now I’ll just put this green clip in my hair and… SFX: Bloop! MISS SALLY: Perfection. I look...incredible. (applause) I ATE MY PEAR, PUT A CLIP IN MY HAIR THEN I CALLED UP THE BUNNIES AND JUST TO BE FAIR THEY’LL CARRY MY COMPUTER FROM HERE TO THERE SO I CAN HAVE A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY BUNNIES: HAVE A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY MISS SALLY: (Screamed) THAT’S WHEN A HAMSTER GOES TO WORK!! MUSIC: GLISS SFX: Bustling office sounds, fax machines, etc WORKERS: Work, work, work, work. SALLY: Ah, here I am at my job where I work! DESK CLERK: Good morning Miss Sally! SALLY: Good morning desk clerk! Which one is my desk today? DESK CLERK: Well I was thinking- MUSIC: In right away SALLY: THERE SHALL BE WORK AND I MEET THE DESK CLERK AND HE TELLS ME MY DESK IS THERE! MUSIC: Out SALLY: AND HE TELLS ME MY DESK IS THERE! Silence SALLY: AND HE TELLS ME MY DESK IS- DESK CLERK: Oh! Oh! Is that where you want to sit? SALLY: Uh huh. DESK CLERK: I mean this is a coworking space you can just sort of sit wherever you- SALLY: Just tell me where my desk is. DESK CLERK: That one’s perfect. SALLY: Thank you. DESK CLERK: Do you need anything e- SALLY: I SIT ON MY CHAIR I AM GLAD TO BE THERE A GOOD PLACE TO SIT IS A THING THAT IS RARE WHEN YOU FIND A GOOD SEAT, DON’T GET UP DON’T YOU DARE! YOU SHOULDN’T SHARE, YEAAAAAAH! AND THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY YES THAT’S A HAMSTER’S- Wait a second. Where’s my computer?! Where are the bunnies! BUNNIES?!?! BUNNIES: (Out of breath) We’re here! BUNNY 1: We have your computer! BUNNY 2: It’s safe. SALLY: Good!! If it wasn’t I wouldn’t have been able to do my work at my job! Speaking of, here comes my work boss! BOSS: Hello Sally! Intro (New Key of E) MY BOSS CAME TO ME AND MY BOSS SAID OUT LOUD : EDIT THIS STORY ABOUT A CLOUD I DECIDE TO CONFESS WHICH INCLUDES SAYING YES BECAUSE I AM AN EDITOR ALL: BECAUSE YOU ARE AN EDITOR SALLY: MY JOB IS BEING AN EDITOR! ALL: YOU EDIT STORIES AND THAT’S YOUR JOB SALLY: AND THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY ALL: THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY (Sally: “Yeah”) THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY (Sally: “A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY”) THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY Claps. HAMSTER: You know, people have a lot of notions about what a hamster does all day. They think we just run on a wheel. Drink from a metal straw. Are fluffy. But if there’s anything you’ve learned from this story it’s that every day I do a ton of amazing stuff. I wake up, eat a pear, put a clip in my hair. I call up some bunnies, and just to be fair, they bring my computer to work for me! A desk clerk shows me where to sit and my boss asks me to edit a story about a cloud. Because yeah, I’m an editor and that’s my job. And hey, guess what, that cloud story? I won a Pulitzer for it. And hey, guess what else? I am fluffy. And that’s a hamster’s workday. ALL: AND THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY (SALLY: YEAH) THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY (SALLY: HAMSTER’S WORKDAY) THAT’S A HAMSTER’S WORKDAY THAT’S A HAMSTER’S SALLY: I’m Sally the Hamster and I’m ready for anything! ALL: WORKDAY THE END!
9.
Barry: A KOALA’S GOTTA DO WHAT A KOALA’S GOTTA DO AND THIS KOALA’S GOTTA CLIMB SO I WANNA CLIMB THAT TREEEEE All: HE’S GONNA CLIMB Barry: SO I’M GONNA CLIMB OH, I’M GONNA CLIMB OH I’M GONNA CLIMB THAT….TREE All: CLIMB THAT TREE! (BARRY’S CLIMBIN’ UP THE) CLIMB THAT TREE (BARRY’S CLIMBIN’ UP THE) CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY, CLIMB! (Ahhhhh) Mom: What’s wrong honey? Barry: Mom, I told my friends I could climb this tree but I can’t. Mom: Barry, dear, all you have to do is practice. Barry: But, I-- Mom: Now get to practicing! All: DAY ONE! Barry: I CLIMB A LITTLE BUT I KEEP FALLIN’ DOWN All: DAY TWO Barry: I’M CLIMBING HIGHER I’M THE TALK OF THE TOWN All: DAY THREE Barry: SO I WANNA CLIMB THAT TREE All: OH BARRY KEEP ON GOING Barry: GIVE IT ONE MORE TRY CLIMB TO THE SKY OH I’M GONNA CLIMB THAT TREE All: CLIMB THAT TREE BARRY’S CLIMBIN UP THE CLIMB THAT TREE BARRY’S CLIMBIN UP THE CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY, CLIMB! (BARRY FALLS AGAIN) Barry: Oooohhh. I fell again! MOM: Barry, honey! How was climbing practice? Barry: Um well not… Mom: Great! Because...surprise! I entered you in the big tree climbing race! Barry: Wait, no, mom, I’m not sure I’m… Announcer: Welcome to the Big Tree Climbing Race! I’m your host, Mark Marsupial. Entering his first race is our challenger, Barry the Koala! All: GO BARRY GO, GO, BARRY! Announcer: And racing against Berry today is our 7 time returning champion…..BARRY’S MOM! ALL: IT’S HIS MOM! Barry: Mom?! Mom: Surprise again! I just love a good race! Announcer: Okay racers get ready and remember, no cheating or else you will be “Dis-Koali-fied”! SFX: Rim shot Announcer: HAHA! Now racers...to your mark…. Barry: OHH BARRY YOU CAN DO THIS BARRY NO TIME FOR FEAR WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO IS CLEAR! OHH BARRY JUST BELIEVE, BARRY THAT YOU WON’T BE STOPPED YOU’LL WIN THE RACE AND REACH THE TOP! SO I’M GONNA CLIMB OH I’M GONNA CLIMB OH I’M GONNA CLIMB THAT TREE! All: CLIMB THAT TREE (BARRY’S CLIMBIN’ UP THE) CLIMB THAT TREE (BARRY’S CLIMBIN UP THE) CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY! CLIMB, BARRY, CLIMB! Announcer: Barry wins! All: YAY! Mom: Barry I’m so proud of you! Barry: Thanks mom! Announcer: Well Barry you climbed the tree, you won the race, what are you gonna do next? Barry: Um…. Eat some food? ALL: EAT SOME FOOD BARRY’S EATIN’ ALL THE EAT SOME FOOD BARRY’S EATIN ALL THE EAT SOME FOOD BARRY CLIMBED THE TREE AND NOW HE’S EATIN’ FOOD! THE END!
10.
his is a story about changing the world, even if you don’t know how. One time there was a giraffe And he wanted to change the world But he didn’t know how He didn’t know how Oh he didn’t know, didn’t know, didn’t know, didn’t know No he didn’t know how To change the world Change the world Then he saw a dinosaur Dino: Hi! Hello! Giraffe: He said we should change this world The dinosaur didn’t know how Dino: Oh wow that is a stumper! I just don’t know! Giraffe: Oh he didn’t know didn’t know didn’t know The dinosaur didn’t know how to change the world Dino: But you know, I would like to come with you to see how this works out! So they met up with this penguin, Asked how do you change this world? The Penguin said… Penguin: Uh I’m a creature of habit, it’s really hard for me to say what I would do if I- Dino: No he didn’t know, didn’t know, didn’t know, The penguin also did not know How to change the world Change the world Penguin: I gotta see how this ends. Giraffe: Down on their luck In an unchanged world The giraffe and the dino and the penguin went to the jungle They found a lion Lion: Roar! Hello! Giraffe: And they asked how do you change this world? Lion: Oh for sure for sure no problem change the world no problem for sure change the world no problem no problem no problem let me just grab my laptop. Giraffe: The lion got a computer and it was powerful He changed the world All: WOW! Giraffe: Into a zoo Dino: It’s so beautiful! Giraffe: That lion somehow had a computer and it was fully charged He changed the world into a zoo Penguin: Whoa! And he knew, he knew he knew he knew How to change the world Into a zoo Yeah- oo woo woo Dino: We did it! Penguin: (ad lib?) Yes he knew, he knew he knew he knew How to change the world And now they know! Chorus: We know How to change the world Giraffe: Everybody! Into a zoo A zoo for all the animals Giraffe: Guess what?! Yes we know I’m the giraffe!! How to change the world I’ve been the giraffe this whole time! How about you? I can change the world too! (Chorus continues 2 more times under lead vocals) Giraffe: Hey I need all my babies! And by babies I mean animals! Elephants! Monkeys in the tree! Who’s here to help me?! I think all of you can help! We know we know we know we know how to change the world into a zoo! Yeah yeah yeah, yes! We know we know we know we know how to change the world into a zoo! Yeah Yeah yeah, yes! They knew they knew they knew how to change the world and no one asked questions about why that one lion had a computer...the end!
11.
ALL Bah...hey! Bah...hey! NARRATOR 1 UP THE HILL THAT THE CREEK RUNS DOWN THERE’S A MOONLIT FARM AT THE EDGE OF THE TOWN NARRATORS 1+2 AND RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THAT LITTLE FARM THERE’S A SHEEP OUT LIVIN’ OUT IN THE BARN YOU KNOW THAT THE SHEEP IS IN THE BARN BUT THE SHEEP IS ASLEEP IN THE BARN ON THE FARM. DREAM, DREAMIN’ SHEEP (Bah...hey!) OHH-OHH DREAMIN’ SHEEP (Bah..hey! Bah..hey!) WHAT DO DREAMIN’ SHEEP DREAM ABOUT WHEN THE SUN IS GONE AND THE STARS COME OUT? THE SHEEP ARE DREAMIN’ ABOUT BEING IN SCHOOL WRITING WITH PENCILS LIKE THE CHILDREN DO THE SHEEP ARE TAKIN’ A SPELLING TEST THEY ALL GET A HUNDRED ON THE SPELLING TEST DREAM, DREAMIN’ SHEEP (Bah..hey!) OHH-OHH THE DREAMIN’ SHEEP (Bah..hey! Bah..hey!) WHEN THE ROOSTER CROWS ON THE FARM THE NEXT DAY THE SHEEP DECIDE TO ALL RUN AWAY NARRATOR 1 OFF TO SCHOOL JUST LIKE THEY DREAMED TEACHER Alright class..settle down! Time for attendance. Jennifer? JENNIFER Here. TEACHER Great! Raymond? RAYMOND Present! TEACHER Great! Sheep? ALL SHEEP Bahhh..bahh….bah…. TEACHER Great... Sheep?! What?! No! What are you sheep doing here? Nice try, but you can’t pull the wool over my eyes! NARRATORS 1+2 BUT THEY GET KICKED OUT THEY GET KICKED OUT THEY GET KICKED OUT THE SHEEP TURN SLOWLY BACK TO THE FARM AND SLUMP UP THE HILL TOWARDS THE BIG OLD BARN SHEEP 1 Aw man...I guess we’ll never get to go to school... SHEEP 2 Yeah bummer. SHEEP 1 Hey wait a minute... we could make our own school! SHEEP 2 What? SHEEP 1 Yeah! yeah! yeah! Our own schoo!l Hey everybody! I figured it out! If that people school won’t have us, well then we don’t need them! We’ll make our own school... for sheep! And someday our school will grow in size and prestige to the point where human people will want to attend our sheep school- just like we had dreamed of attending theirs! SHEEP 3 And we’ll kick them out just like they did to us! SHEEP 1 No no no! We’ll kick them..IN! Accept them and welcome them and nuzzle them with our wooly noses. Because we are sheep! And those humans might have snacks! SHEEP 2 Well okay but what are we gonna call this school? No one wants to go to a school without a snappy name... SHEEP 1 We’ll call it... Dreaming Sheep! SHEEP 2 That’s pretty good... SHEEP 1 Thank you. ALL Bah..hey! X8

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The Story Pirates and Gimlet Media present Backstroke Raptor! From the title track about a velociraptor who knows the best way to get off of an island to "The Wizard Who Just Goes Poof" featuring Lin-Manuel Miranda as a rapping dragon, this is our weirdest and wildest collection of songs yet! All of the tracks are based on kids' stories. Listen to the album and keep scrolling to read the original stories!

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released June 14, 2019

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The Story Pirates New York, New York

Story Pirates is a media company founded in 2004 to celebrate the words and ideas of kids. Since then, we’ve launched the #1 podcast for kids and families, a live national tour, and a critically acclaimed book series from Random House.
Our partner non-profit Story Pirates Changemakers provides life-changing literacy and creative writing programs to kids in Title I schools and homeless shelters.
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